One of the truly tragic effects of celebrity culture is the decimation of great breakfast cereal brands and their accompanying television ads. All those great cereal ads that my brain was irradiated with as a child were awesome. Great characters, action driven plots. Somebody was always after someone else's somethin'. Think The Thomas Crown Affair with a Batman villain-type protagonist (original live action TV series). Now days, Spongebob, Dora or the lead from the latest animated feature phones in a celebrity portrait shoot. Weak.
These are classic archetypes.
Picked on loser.
Your guide to the underworld.
Paranoid schizophrenic suffering from persecution delusions.
This isn't to say that a celebrity endorsement can't work within the cereal category. The Flintstones did it with brilliance and flair for Fruity Pebbles. Barney steps out of his bosom buddy, best chum character role and will stop at nothing to steal Fred's cereal. Some fucking friend. It borders on soap-opera. Absolutely gripping.
I was leading up to something with this post but I found this paraody and it has totally derailed me. Its too funny not to share.