Saturday, November 04, 2006

Masturbation Grease

In the past I have posted about consumer needs that have not been explicitly recognized by product manufactures and advertisers. The BodyGroomer by Norelco is an excellent example of a product that took to long for someone to bring to market. Men have been using tools not completely suited for that task for years. After writing my recent post on Vaseline Intensive Care I realized that no product has been developed specifically for use as a (male) masturbation lubricant. A wide variety of other things are used, like hand lotions. There are however some design considerations that, if taken into account would make for a product more ideally suited for this task.

1. Viscosity. The ideal viscosity is probably worth looking into.

2. Odor. An odorless product probably makes the most sense. No need for a tell tale scent to give you away. (Or an unwanted taste)

3. Skin care. A moisturizing component is probably still desirable. "Soften hands while you choke the chicken".

4. Cleanliness. Maybe it could work like Purell and kill germs as well as evaporate quickly after use.

5. Finally, added stimulation. Maybe it could have a warming or tingling effect. (Though not as powerful as say, Tigerbalm.)

The TV spot: A row of men are positioned behind a partition. Their heads and shoulders rise above the top of it. On a table in front of the partition sits the "product" each is using for his self-gratification. As the camera pans down the row of men each gives his opinion of the product he's been matched with. For example: "I don't know, this lavender scent is making it really hard to get started". The last man is moaning (bleeped) expletives and shouting the praises of Sherman Foundation Masturbation Grease.

Maybe we could bring back The Fonze to "host" the commercials. He's greasy, likes showing off his hands and can be counted on to end each spot with a "thumbs up".

See Also
Recognizing untouched market needs in unexpected places
From Wang to ejaculation target in no time flat.
Target Tissues & Temporary Tattoos
Shave Everywhere


ben said...

Steve Martin was way ahead of the curve on this one. There are some additional good ideas in this old sketch:

Amy said...

Actually, there is already at least one such product. It is called Men's Cream and is sold at places like Babeland.

Tom Sherman said...

I did learn, after wrting this post, that such products exist. I began working on a post called "Masturbation Grease Revisited" to talk about that and some other issues.

The Martin skit that Ben provided a link for is fantastic.