Stereotips (part of speech, Shermanism): coined to describe useful bits of advice based on ethnic, cultural, or general stereotypes.
The holiday season is upon us and in these cold winter months I like to switch it up and order the occasional white chocolate mocha from Starbucks. Over the years I've noticed something, that a "big boned" barista manning the Starbucks espresso station often serves up a moca sweeter that a mouthful of smarties.
My theory: Fatties are fat because they live lives of reckless nutritional abandon. It's sugar-on-sugar all day long. They wake and eat Three Musketeers and Mars Bars for breakfast, Fruity Pebbles for dinner. Years of a corn syrup rich diet have altered their taste buds so much that Skittles are the baseline. Everything has to be twice as sweet just so it registers that there's something in their mouth.
Before I caught on to the source of the problem, I wouldn't realize I'd been handed a beverage that could quite possibly trigger the onset of adult diabetes until it was too late. I'd be walking away from the crowded pick-up station when that first sip sent a shockwave through my endocrine system.
After number of these assassination attempts, I began to watch anxiously as their chubby hands pumped the chocolate flavored syrup into my cup, wincing if they proceeded past 3 squirts.
I've learned to specify the number of pumps in my mochas and white chocolate mochas. Those damn drink are just too expensive and the holiday lines too maddening to get a botched beverage.
This holiday season I encourage you and your loved one's to drink with caution. This stereotip is our gift to you. Season's Greetings from "The Foundation".
Stereotip: Always specify the number of syrup pumps in your Starbucks moch if the barista preparing the drinks is fat. They tend to be ham-handed at the pump as a result of their own preference for sweet tasting things.
Tell your "big boned" Barista: "Easy on the syrup pump".